"Baby how can I take out my frustration on you, I love you .." the one line he said while dropping her back to the metro station was comforting for that moment. He loves her, or that is what she chooses to believe for now.
These past months have been a turmoil. He hasn't been giving her much time. She has raised concerns, at times he says he is just busy other time he says it a international conference call that has his phone waiting. Other time she is just treated with silence or excuses. She is disturbed. She knows something is going on, her stomach churns when her gut yells at her to see the truth- he is seeing someone. But she refuses to believe, she turns away from people who told her his truth, who had nothing but her interest in mind.
He has cheated on her a year before and she did forgive him the best she could do. Is he doing it again? She keeps checking his phone secretly whenever they meet just to know. The guts always going against her findings. All of sudden he has become secretive.
What's going on? He finally tells her one day he is told his family about her and they disapprove, but he is fighting, he is rebelling. She is relieved that he is fighting, she waits patiently.
He meets her one Saturday morning and says has to go to his friend's house soon after. He kisses her goodbye after what feels like few mins sipping coffee gazing into each other's eye. Taking her in her arms and planting an unexpected kiss on her lips she sees her off. The kiss feels like the world has disappeared and it's just them now with each other only to be jolted back to reality by blazing horns on the street.
As she is climbing the stairs of the station she gets a call...
"Is he with you?" the caller says...
"Yes he was but why do you ask"
"Because his phone was switched off'
"He will on his phone in a while," she says, without giving any further explanations. After all, he confided in her that he wants to run away from family, he is rebelling for his one true love! But something doesn't feel right, why is the lady she only knows as his coworker/friend, asking about his whereabouts on a weekend, Why that worried tone?
She gets the call again after what feels like a split of a second. Only this time her world will collapse underneath her legs.
"Why did you meet him?" the lady asked in such an accusing tone.
"Excuse me, its none of your business. I shouldn't have to give you explanations./" She replied.
"Oh is it "...and the lady disconnects
She calls him and tells him what happened. She is greeted with silence. She asks " are you both going around", hoping she would be ridiculed, hoping there is another reason. There comes a reply from him "yes... I'm sorry"
At that moment her life shattered, grief like she had never experienced before took over, She was 21, she thought she found her forever love. They were to be envied by many, after all, as she was often told, they were the couple goals for many. Her dreams were not too many, revolved around that man and his assurance of his devotion to her.
But with that 'yes..I'm sorry' her dreams broke. Anger engulfed her, grief took over the calmness. What was happening, why was this happening to her?
Only later she will know that this all was a blessing in disguise, a better future, a better man is awaiting her. She is doomed for much more than he could ever give her. A temporary hurt was what was needed to make her strong, shape her life.
It's only later that she will begin to truly know what self-love is. It's only later that she will value herself as much as she is able to value others. You see, grief and heartache have its own unique way of protecting you. But for now, the heartache would have to do. For now, her pain will have to be her guide.
These past months have been a turmoil. He hasn't been giving her much time. She has raised concerns, at times he says he is just busy other time he says it a international conference call that has his phone waiting. Other time she is just treated with silence or excuses. She is disturbed. She knows something is going on, her stomach churns when her gut yells at her to see the truth- he is seeing someone. But she refuses to believe, she turns away from people who told her his truth, who had nothing but her interest in mind.
He has cheated on her a year before and she did forgive him the best she could do. Is he doing it again? She keeps checking his phone secretly whenever they meet just to know. The guts always going against her findings. All of sudden he has become secretive.
What's going on? He finally tells her one day he is told his family about her and they disapprove, but he is fighting, he is rebelling. She is relieved that he is fighting, she waits patiently.
He meets her one Saturday morning and says has to go to his friend's house soon after. He kisses her goodbye after what feels like few mins sipping coffee gazing into each other's eye. Taking her in her arms and planting an unexpected kiss on her lips she sees her off. The kiss feels like the world has disappeared and it's just them now with each other only to be jolted back to reality by blazing horns on the street.
As she is climbing the stairs of the station she gets a call...
"Is he with you?" the caller says...
"Yes he was but why do you ask"
"Because his phone was switched off'
"He will on his phone in a while," she says, without giving any further explanations. After all, he confided in her that he wants to run away from family, he is rebelling for his one true love! But something doesn't feel right, why is the lady she only knows as his coworker/friend, asking about his whereabouts on a weekend, Why that worried tone?
She gets the call again after what feels like a split of a second. Only this time her world will collapse underneath her legs.
"Why did you meet him?" the lady asked in such an accusing tone.
"Excuse me, its none of your business. I shouldn't have to give you explanations./" She replied.
"Oh is it "...and the lady disconnects
She calls him and tells him what happened. She is greeted with silence. She asks " are you both going around", hoping she would be ridiculed, hoping there is another reason. There comes a reply from him "yes... I'm sorry"
At that moment her life shattered, grief like she had never experienced before took over, She was 21, she thought she found her forever love. They were to be envied by many, after all, as she was often told, they were the couple goals for many. Her dreams were not too many, revolved around that man and his assurance of his devotion to her.
But with that 'yes..I'm sorry' her dreams broke. Anger engulfed her, grief took over the calmness. What was happening, why was this happening to her?
Only later she will know that this all was a blessing in disguise, a better future, a better man is awaiting her. She is doomed for much more than he could ever give her. A temporary hurt was what was needed to make her strong, shape her life.
It's only later that she will begin to truly know what self-love is. It's only later that she will value herself as much as she is able to value others. You see, grief and heartache have its own unique way of protecting you. But for now, the heartache would have to do. For now, her pain will have to be her guide.
